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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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After the protest, I decide to stroll down to the park by the city center. It’s called Špitálska, and it’s usually a nice spot to chill. But today? It’s packed! Families, kids runnin’ around, dogs everywhere. I’m dodging frisbees like I’m in the Olympics. And then, I spot this cute dog. I mean, the fluffiest little thing. I’m tryin’ to pet it, and the owner’s like, “Don’t touch him, he bites!” Ugh, thanks for the heads up, buddy.

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